for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
