bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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