I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
