Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
