hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
