i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
