And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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