Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
