quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
you never un-have a 4some
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
