I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize