The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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