I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
