You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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