At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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