Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
