I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
