people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
40s are totally the cure
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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