you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
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You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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