It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
