How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Its about making memories worth repressing
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Brb crying the tears of my youth
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
