Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you would pick up someone in the library
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
