I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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