Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
