Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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