I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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