it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
