haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
