spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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