Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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