Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize