I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize