it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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