Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
handjob tips. give me some.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
