its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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