you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
