So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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