i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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