I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
