So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
