yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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