Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
