For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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