But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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