New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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