this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
