so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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