I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
