Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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