We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
