I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
