Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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