i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
