I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
