She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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