This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
