I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
