pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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