If that was your dad, he is hot
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize