i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
