My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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