last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
