i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize