At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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